Angrybot

Yesterday started off rough. Very rough. I was just plain angry. Pissed. Peeved. Fucking belligerent, even. Angry at myself, job, people, Japanese bureaucracy, not to mention the rain, my lab, shiny things, and small dogs. Pretty much just pissed at the whole world. I didn't even feel like myself. I felt like Angrybot.

I was angry enough that when the lady at the clinic told me I needed my health insurance certificate (i mean, cant u just go through the files to get my record????), and that I had to drive back home to get it, I let out a resounding "mother fuck" as I walked out the door. I have no idea where that came from, seriously.

Ok, so did i tell y'all about this bitch at the store who always give me a dirty bitchy look and completely ignore me when i try to talk to her ? I have no idea what her problem is. Anyway, seriously people, it's not a good time to fuck with me when im in a bad state like yesterday. So yesterday, I, again, tried to say otsukaresamadeshita (have a nice evening, im going home) to her, but the best she can do was giving me a dirty look and completely ignored me, just like the other days. I dont know how i got into the next scene, but i suddenly went to her and told her off right in her face "I swear to God, if you dont stop giving me that look on that ass you call a face, im going to punch you right in it." I mean, It's been 4 months now. Im not a stupid pushover that you can treat like shit.

Anyways, so being angry as I was, I knew I needed to exercise. So i decided to go swimming.And afterwards I was like...

A new man. I felt 100% different. My anger was gone and a certain euphoria was over me. I almost felt as if I was on Prozac or something. My thought last night was "I feel like god damn Whinny the Pooh in a honey factory or something". I know I know, it is all those endorphins pumping through me. But this is the first time in my life where I could feel a physical change, you know? And THAT made me realize that this is probably the reason I haven't been totally myself lately. I haven't been 'up'. Yes sure, I might be depressed or stressed these days or anything, but I also haven't been functioning at 100%.